When you feel like you’re drowning in newborn life, it can be hard to look around and access what you actually need to feel better. You might feel like you are just surviving.
Often times, new moms in my clinical practice will tell me their well-meaning moms, partners, and friends will offer to help them, and they don’t even know what to ask for. When they are given time away, they don’t know what to do with it, because they don’t even feel like themselves anymore.
If you are postpartum and feel this loss of self, here are 5 simple ways to take care of yourself, postpartum:
5 Ways To Take Care Of Yourself, Postpartum
1: Connect with other new moms.
Ideally, local new moms. Look up local FB groups, go to lactation support groups, library times, or ask for introductions from friends of friends who had babies around the same time. Connecting with other women going through postpartum matters – they will understand your experience in a way that no one else can.
2: Prioritize things that make you feel like you, or made you feel like you before motherhood.
Pick a few nonnegotiable that you can hold constant in the midst of the chaos of postpartum. Make yourself a specific coffee or juice every morning, make time to brush your hair every day, or pick a specific time you go for a walk. These constants can help reset you on the most challenging days, and remind you that you are a human, with your own needs.
3: Practice mindfulness during activities that you have to do to lower your stress levels.
For instance, take deep breaths while cooking, doing dishes, or rocking your baby to sleep. Try naming the experience of all 5 of your senses while doing things like feeding the baby, cleaning, or during a night wake up. Naming these sense experiences can bring you back into the present moment and remind you that this experience is right now, it’s not forever.
4: Establish care with a therapist. If you find yourself wondering if your postpartum experience is “normal”, ask a professional!
New moms tend to view therapy as a huge commitment and think “I don’t have time for that”… here’s a secret: sometimes, you just need a few sessions where you can vent. You don’t need a huge commitment or a lot of time for therapy to help. Most perinatal therapists are totally fine with you bringing your baby to your Telehealth session. If you are in California, feel free to reach out to me here. If you aren’t sure if “need” therapy, check out my course here.
5: Take a break from social media.
I know… it’s not what anyone wants to hear. But if you feel like you’re drowning, or find yourself asking the question “why is it easier for them?” Or “why is this so hard for me when it’s easy for them?”, it’s time to log off and focus on improving the life you actually have instead of comparing it to theirs. Start with 24 hours offline and evaluate how you feel.
I’m a therapist, and a mom of 3, and I can tell you that the postpartum season if really hard. Even if you love your newborn. Even if you have social support. Even if you have a great partner, and an easy baby.
It feels impossible when any of those things isn’t holding up. Taking care of yourself in these small ways is one way to take back agency in what can feel like an impossible season of life.
